


you say you want my mind

by station43



Series: reid & alvez drabble thingies [7]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 11:50:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10490274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/station43/pseuds/station43
Summary: Luke cut him off, “I mean I’m interested… you just have to promise me something…”“What?” Reid asked.“That we’ll never be that annoying as an actual couple.”“Oh. I can guarantee you that that will never happen.”based on the prompt: "You're an idiot, I've met smarter sandwiches."





	

“So he’s putting up these posters… advertising free couples therapy for LGBT couples…” JJ said. “And then when they show up to the therapy sessions he’s killing them.” JJ walked into the room with one of the posters in her hands.

“You know it’s sad but a lot of couples therapists won’t see LGBT couples,” Reid said into the phone. 

The poster was made with bad clip art of two women holding hands, and a rainbow flat in the background and clip art of a broken heart with a stethoscope. 

“We need to find out everything we can about this…” Luke said. 

Rossi nodded, “Garcia tracked the number that was on the poster but it’s a google voice number…”

“So she can’t trace who it belongs to?” JJ asked. 

“Unfortunately she’d either have to hack into Google, or we’d have to get a warrant for them to give us that information. Lewis and Walker are talking to someone about the second thing right now but it might be a while…” 

“We could go back to the places these were posted and see if anyone remembers who put them up,” JJ said. 

“The best that would get us is a description…” Rossi said. “In the mean time we should warn the people who could have seen these…”

“That might not be such a good idea,” Emily looked up. “We don’t want to scare the unsub into going underground..”

“It could also keep potential victims out of harms way…” JJ said. 

“We could go under cover…” Luke said. “Pose as a couple that needs therapy and see what this guy is all about…” 

“That could work…” Emily said. 

And then Reid noticed that all of the eyes in the room were focused on him. 

“Why are you all looking at me?” 

“I’m not going to pretend to be in a relationship with him…” Rossi said. He gestured towards Luke. 

“What you don’t wanna be my sugar daddy Rossi?” Luke teased. 

“Please never say that again,” Rossi’s face twisted in disgust, and the rest of the team laughed. 

* * *

 

“He’s an idiot!” Reid exclaimed dramatically. He threw his hands up in the air, and then turned to Luke, “ **You’re an idiot! I’ve met smarter sandwiches!”**

“We get it you have an IQ of 187…” Luke rolled his eyes, “And an eidetic memory… blah blah. That doesn’t mean you always have to show me up!” 

“I do if you’re wrong!” Reid shouted. 

“Well I’m always gonna be wrong if you’re so nit-picky about everything!” 

“I am not nit-picky!” 

“You made me return the carton of orange juice that I bought, for you, I don’t even like orange juice, just because the expiration date was April Seventh!” 

“Four and seven are unlucky numbers in Chinese mythology! Do you really want to drink orange juice associated with July, which some cultures consider to be the “ghost month” and four is synonymous with death!” 

Reid was yelling at this point, but he made a mental note to ask Luke about this. Because he had no idea that Luke even knew that those numbers were associated with anything. 

“Do you want to die from drinking unlucky orange juice?” Reid asked him. “He wants to die from drinking cursed orange juice,” he turned to the tired looking therapist in front of them who had stopped trying to get a word in between their fake arguments 

“I’m not gonna die from drinking cursed orange juice, because I don’t like orange juice!” Luke shouted. “You would know that if you actually listened to me instead of talking all the time!”

Finally the therapist cut them off. “I uh…” he started. “I think that this has been a good session you’ve got a lot of your pent up emotions out…” he said. “Next time we’ll discuss those emotions.. but tonight I want you guys to go home and reflect on how you feel about everything that the other said…” 

Reid had figured out immediately that this man was not a real therapist. What he was he had no idea, but this man had no experience with clinical psychology. 

“I’ll uh.. I’ll walk you guys out.”

Reid stood up from the couch, and Luke followed as he walked them through the building, which he had assured them was just his temporary situation, and into the now dark alleyway behind the building. 

“Jacob Fitzgereld, you are under arrest for the murder of ten people!” JJ pointed a gun at him as soon as he stepped out of the building. Emily was right behind her, putting the handcuffs on him and reading him his rights. 

“I’m doing gods work…” he said. 

“Yeah I don’t want to hear it…” Emily said. “Do you understand your rights?” she asked as she dragged him away. 

Reid turned to face Luke, “For the record I don’t think you’re an idiot,” he said. 

Luke nodded in agreement “For the record… I do like orange juice,” he joked. 

“I don’t…” Reid said. 

“I guess the tables have turned,” Luke laughed. 

Reid paused, and looked around for a second, letting the high of just catching the bad guy carry him. 

“Also …” he started. “I think I’d like to be your real boyfriend.” 

Luke’s eyes went wide, and his jaw slacked. 

“I mean not right now. Just someday. If you’re also interested…” Reid started rambling nervously. 

Luke cut him off, “I mean I’m interested… you just have to promise me something…” 

“What?” Reid asked. 

“That we’ll never be _that_ annoying as an actual couple.” 

“Oh. I can _guarantee_  you that that will never happen.” 


End file.
